One of the most common threats to the marriage structure is not infidelity as reported, it is the lack of wisdom. Wisdom is divinely given to us through Christ, however, as stated throughout Proverbs, many do not ask for it. The sin is trusting ourselves when choosing a mate, when God instructed us in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” When we are operating under the covering of wisdom, we make choices based on what God says as opposed to what our flesh instructs. When you are wise, you know to ask God to not only send to you a wife, but to prepare you for her.
Most men are reputed to be visual creatures. While some are led by their hearts when proposing marriage, the unwise are led by their flesh. Either way, they have went wrong. You should always be led by the Holy Spirit. The immoral women have, since thousands of years, used their beauty and frames to captivate and seduce their prey. A man lacking discernment is easily led to the bed of death. Because of the lack of wisdom, many men are running after the immoral woman. Again, a lot of this is to blame on the media’s depiction of a wife. However, one cannot be deceived by the media if wisdom, knowledge and understanding were not void in their lives. So, in all truth, the real blame is you.
Turn on the television. What do you see? Almost everywhere you look, sex oozes from the screen. From TV commercials, to sitcoms and of course, to the big screen, women are exploited. However, we cannot say this as if the woman was kidnapped and forced to strip down to her bare essentials. No, in reality, many of them take pleasure in displaying what was intended for their husbands because they are what the bible refers to as immoral women. And many women pattern after what they have seen on the television. They wear fitted clothes, speak seductively and strut in a manner that entices a man of no understanding. Many prophets were taken down by an immoral woman. In Judges 16:16 is the story of Samson and Delilah. Most of you know the story, but if you do not, you can read it here. Samson’s problem? He followed after his flesh when in dealings with the opposite sex.
As mentioned in ‘Bad Boy Syndrome,’ the book of Proverbs is so full of gems. This book warns of the immoral woman. But, why do some men search for this type? Reading Proverbs 7:7-23 gives us a clue:
7. And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,
8. Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house,
9. In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:
10. And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
11. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
12. Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)
13. So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,
14. I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
15. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
16. I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
17. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.
19. For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:
20. He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.
21. With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.
22. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
23. Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.
In this story, we learned and recognized the seduction and it’s cost. We also came to understand why he was so easily misled. The bible says that he was ‘void of understanding.’ Men, you must understand that a covering does not represent it’s content, it only covers. In laymen’s terms, the flesh does not represent the spirit that is within. When searching for a wife, you should always seek after a woman that will fight for you spiritually, and not someone that can fight you in the natural.
Many men arise still hurting from the pain inflicted on them by an immoral woman. Often times, with individuals that lack wisdom, they repeatedly make the same mistakes in choosing a mate. After a while, they announce that all members of the opposite sex are ‘no good.’ Fact is, there is a separation of God’s people and Satan’s slaves. To meet a woman of God, you must pray. Father releases His daughters to His sons in a season chosen by Him. When you follow God’s plan for your life, you will come to find that virtuous woman that Proverbs goes on and on about. She is not standing on the street corners, as one may presume. She is in her Father’s care. Satan’s slaves are very common and easily found. They forsake the Word of God to do things ‘their way.’ She can be no better a wife to you than she is a daughter to God.
Proverbs 31:10-30 reads:
10. Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
It is right there before your eyes gentlemen. When we follow God’s system, we will not go wrong. Remember, Jesus is the Way and when we follow Him, we will not and cannot be lost. The problem today is, many have forsaken His instruction and have decided to follow their own direction. With their eyes, they witness the beauty, however, only the eye opening Word of God can display her heart. In many cases, if not all, the signs are there. Right there before your eyes, but when individuals choose based on their flesh, they reason within themselves that they can change their mate through love, understanding, gift giving, etc. Realize that God is love and He has given them love, He has given them chance after chance and He has blessed them with many gifts including the most precious gift of all, His Son, Jesus Christ. Who are you that they will reverence your being and do for you what they would not do for God?
If you are looking for ‘the’ wife and not ‘a’ wife, then you will have to go to her Father to ask her hand in marriage. Many find ‘a’ wife only to discover that they will have to find ‘another’ wife. The gems are there, throughout your bible. Bad girl syndrome is a mirror of your spiritual age. Here are some things that Father has recorded so that you would choose better.
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)
“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” (Proverbs 21:19)
“It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” (Proverbs 25:24)
It is easier than you think. You simply have to agree to follow God’s direction and forsake the desires of your flesh. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthews 6:33) When you go after the things that pleases God first, He will bless you with a virtuous wife. Any other way is out of order and when you are out of order, you are not to expect a blessing, but a curse follows you. In decision making, you will find that you make better choices when you replace ‘common sense’ with wisdom. They are very different, men and women of God. Common sense is worldly and wisdom is divine.
Do not let the media detail to you what your wife should look and act like. Sure, it’s cute on the TV screen to see a rowdy woman pummel her husband, however, how does God see this? Husbands, you were assigned a ministry, to follow Christ and lead others to Him. You were assigned the duty of working and raising up a God fearing family. Your wife is your help mate. If she is not serving God, she is against Him. But, you have to seek Him, pray, read your bible, and prepare. Patience is a key to unlock the door where your virtuous woman awaits you.