Seriously men, sometimes we try (or tried) to go all out to impress on that first date. It is like rolling the dice and not knowing what is going to happen. That doesn’t mean the first date has to be McDonald’s (perfectly fine if you are a teen) however make sure it is a place and location where you are both comfortable and get to know each other.
I caught a few episodes of the TV show Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. Yes a reality show I digress. For those of you not familiar with the show, it is based on a matchmaker who has primarily millionaire male clients and assists them in finding the perfect partner. The matchmaker has no problem screening and interviewing females who wish to have the opportunity to date a millionaire. The matchmaker holds a mixer where beautiful ladies parade in front of and eventually talk to these men and finally the “lucky” ladies are chosen for a date.
Sometimes it is obvious the men are not seriously trying to find “the one” and use this as another form of dating. Some of the men can be classified as introverts who have difficulties communicating with the opposite sex. Some of the men are just more concerned with what she looks like versus what is inside her head.
In reality, these millionaires show the same characteristics on the first date as men who are not millionaires. They are just men who have more resources at their disposal. For example, I have seen first dates where women are flown across the country in private jets and treated to expensive dinners. I saw a first date at a millionaire’s mansion where it appeared he primarily wanted to make a point on how wealthy he is. From these exotic encounters, the women are impressed and quickly realize their date is not the average Joe. However what often happened after the first date is either the man or woman lost interest and did not want another date. This is no different than a man who is not a millionaire spending all his resources to impress on the first date and there is no follow up.
On the show the reasons I discovered why many couples did not move past first base is :
1) The woman saw the man for who he really is and was turned off by his personality
2) The man was turned off by her personality
3) Although she did not think of him as a jerk, she did not see a spark to establish a relationship
4) Although he did not think of her as psycho, he did not see a spark to establish a relationship
5) Mixed signals. One person thought the date went well while the other thought it was a disaster
The end result is it didn’t matter how fancy, expensive or impressive the date was, it came down to whether personalities clicked or not. When I say “don’t show her too much on the first date” I mean don’t focus so much on flaunting your resources to impress because that will get you nowhere. In fact your only attraction may be those who see what you have and look for ways to take it from you. Make the first date the opportunity to get to know the person and the opportunity to allow yourself to realize if you would want to date this person again.