Ever since being homosexual seemingly became Feng Shui and few think it’s as much as a label as it is a distinction, I have heard many gay analogies.
“He’s as gay as a picnic basket” or “She’s as gay as a window” are the most popular, -ish.
And although those really don’t describe anything and someone in the homosexual community needs to string up these losers comparing them to inanimate objects and household appliances, I have heard a new one that I pray doesn’t become trendy, “As gay as Jesus!”
Yeah, as in Christ, Son of God, redeemer of sin and all-around hetero dude.
Now spare me the jokes about Jesus hanging with 12 guys all across the Holy Land. There is something really disturbing about the “devil-may-care” (pun intended) attitude of one Sir Elton John for just hurling this comment out there in last week’s Parade magazine.
“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”
Ironically, the headline is “There’s a lot of hate in this world.” No kidding, and loaded quotes like that are just begging for the headline he provided largely due to hate. People have no regard – much less, respect – for Jesus Christ these days.
I get so-called “Christians” can be some of the absolute worst folk ever. (Don’t believe me? Work at a church or be a waiter during a Sunday brunch. At times, not enjoyable. Just saying.) I understand when folk vent, they do so at a bitter experience, not at a loving God because they don’t understand him.
But this is not “Hakuna Matata.” The Church should be completely worried about this, but not for why you – yes, you, militant God basher ready to pounce on this post – think.
Since when did compassion and forgiveness become a trait only found in women and gay men? Oh yeah, since most straight, “God-fearing” men seemed incapable of exhibiting any.
Now, I realize that’s a bold generalization, but consider, for every real Christian, there are about 8-10 fraudulent posers making life sucky for the rest of us. Their witness is non-existent. Their actions are contradictory to the gospel message. Their mouths spew more venom than healing. And their personal lives have closets of their own.
Where are the real Christians talking about this mess? Why are they so quiet? Is it because one of the baddest musicians on the planet (and he is) said something that did more than ruffle your feathers, but your explanation of who Jesus is?
Never fear because once again only the Catholic League has been boisterous and picking up the slack about this newly discovered trait about Jesus.
“Jesus was certainly compassionate, but to say he was ‘super-intelligent’ is to compare the son of God to a successful game-show contestant,” league president Bill Donohue said in a statement. “More seriously, to call Jesus a homosexual is to label him a sexual deviant. But what else would we expect from a man who previously said, ‘From my point of view, I would ban religion completely’?”
Well, you almost had us in your corner, Bill. Thanks for playing.
Apparently, someone out there in ecumenicalism has been raising a righteous kerfuffle as “Hercules/Rocket Man” [look it up] has not apologized but rather blamed the quote on Parade, as seen in NewsBusters.org.
“Parade magazine did a kind of a sneaky thing and put it on their website that I said this,” John told Chicago’s WGN-TV. According to John, he made the comment “as part of the conversation during the interview,” but he apparently didn’t think this was going to be included in the article.
“I don’t really want to cause a controversy, and I didn’t know it was going to be a sidebar to an article that was a great article, and I think Parade have been a bit sneaky about that.”
About that, Elton. The circle of life in the media does not end at “No Comment.” Surely someone has taught you that by now? It was not sneaky. You barfed out a bucket of kerosene and even the most junior intern at that publication would have lit that match.
Was Jesus super-intelligent? No question. The riddles of the universe were authored by his father. Was Jesus happy-gay? Sure he was. Why would anyone want the religion of some clodhopper with limited social skills?
Was Jesus gay-gay? Uh, not so much.
According to the Bible, Jesus was an observant Jew who was often followed by the Sanhedrin, Pharisees, Sadducees and scribes just waiting for a mistake to open so they could plaster that everywhere. Elton John should know something about that – today, dolts like that are called paparazzi.
Jesus was charged with many things:
- Being possessed by Satan and living as a blasphemer
- Accused of being a party animal who consorted with the dregs of society
- Claims of being a false prophet
- And basically, an utter nuisance to the Roman way of life
So, he was killed. Yet there is no record of them accusing him of being gay. Back then, homosexuals didn’t have civil rights. In fact, same-sex behavior among men was an offense worthy of the death penalty.
Trust me, if Jesus were gay, and if the Jewish establishment knew how he rolled listening to Village People 8-tracks and the like, they would certainly have used it against him. Yet there is no record in the Gospels or in subsequent Jewish literature of the topic ever having been mentioned.
So, Sir Elton, although you have said goodbye to the yellow brick road, some of us are still following it with a full understanding of when we get there, we will see Jesus Christ in all his glory and splendor. No, that’s not to say he will be dressed in sequence with jazz hands flailing.
His majesty is awe-striking and his love is uncompromising. And he could care less what you have done or with whom you have done it. He is love:
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8 NIV).
Now it’s obvious Elton John knows love – he has been in a committed relationship for more than a decade and you can’t sing and play like he can with having a passion deep within your spirit. I just pray that while the fire of that quote lowers to a simmer, he discovers who God is.
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