First time obedience – many of you may be wondering exactly what that is or you may know exactly what it is but believe it’s more of an urban legend designed just to frustrate hard-working parents. But whatever the reasons for it not being a part of your children’s lives, first time obedience is an absolute necessity to maintaining a healthy, family environment. You may be under the impression, though, that your child’s disrespectful attitude deserves more attention. Or you may feel it is best to focus on the temper tantrums your three-year old seems to throw every day. Or it may be any number of other things you feel are much more important than expecting first time obedience from your child. But you would be wrong.
First time obedience is intertwined with so many other issues. And, although, those other issues are important and should not be ignored, the resolution of them can largely depend on your children’s success with first time obedience. Therefore, it is important to focus your attention on that before anything else.
Before I begin detailing, though, exactly what first time obedience is, I want to delve a little bit into the traps that parents often fall into in order to get what they might believe is first time obedience. “If you pick up your toys, I’ll buy you an ice cream.” “For the last time, go brush your teeth!” “If you don’t eat your vegetables, I’ll take away the tv for a month.” Do any of these sound remotely familiar? Bribing, repeating, threatening, none of these carry with it many, if any, redeeming qualities in any other life situation. Why is it considered acceptable in parenting? These parenting tactics will do nothing to encourage your children toward first time obedience on their own. It will offer you only a potential momentary victory and will have no sustaining impact on their successes for their future.
First time obedience is getting your children to obey your direction immediately. You ask, they do. Simple in theory. But, as most of us are painfully aware, not so much logistically. Over the next several posts, I will share some guidelines to use, which will encourage your children toward first time obedience. Until then, take the time to evaluate if your children are characterized by giving you first time obedience. If they are not, then you know where your focus needs to begin. When you give a direction, expect first time obedience in return. And when they don’t give it to you, give consequences for it.
For more advice on parenting: contact Leslie with questions or purchase her book which is now available