Friends with benefits (noun) describes two (or more) acquaintances that refer to themselves as friends—regardless of whether societal norms agree or not—and yet, engage in intimate or physical activities which are not generally associated with platonic relationships. Friends with benefits are often the result of too much alcohol consumption on one or more party’s part, sexual frustration, desperation and/or boredom. Friends with benefits may or may not imply that the parties are exclusively involved with one another, and the lifetime of any friend with benefits arrangement will fluctuate greatly—ranging from two repeat offences to years of off again/on again action without obligations (yeah… “no obligations”—just keep telling yourself that!). In not so rare but inappropriate cases, “friend with benefits” turn into “boyfriend with issues” or “girlfriend with expectations”. In these situations, good luck because you have missed the entire point (and enjoyment) of having your cake and eating it too.
Speaking of cake, it is generally a bad idea to spend one-on-one time with your friend with benefit in public. If you do, however, avoid venues which exude an overly date vibe, such restaurants like Monarch with its canopies and dim lighting. In fact, keeping the evening brief may be best so that 1.) you are not spotted by friends, 2.) you don’t slip into date-like conversation and 3.) you get back to the purpose of your special arrangement. A terrific choice of outing would be a fun and casual venue which could double as foreplay; such as Sky Zone or the City Museum.
Friends with benefits is not to be confused with f*** buddies (F.B. for the purpose of this column… because this is a family site, so we try to keep it clean). In friend with benefits situations, the assumption is that the parties hang out, enjoy each other’s non-sexual company and probably exist within the same or overlapping social circle—continuing a public display of their friendship that does not indicate a different experience behind closed doors. Also, friends with benefits may get awkward given the dynamics in these social circles and if a participant becomes interested in more or less. F.B., on the other hand, have only the responsibility of being available, and generally avoid spending unnecessary platonic time together. Although less socially acceptable than friends with benefits, when done correctly, it’s a beautiful freedom that everyone should have the joy of experiencing. (Just, be safe!)
If you’re looking for a F.B. but don’t have anyone in mind, there are a few things out there in the world to assist in this search—such as alcohol and clubs. Welcome to Washington Avenue. Depending on your standards, age and interest in social acceptability, there are a variety of venues Downtown to suit your interests. However, be aware that in this town, you can never pick up a guy or gal at the same place twice. A lesson to live by.