Husbands and wives have to get into the habit of doing those little things that mean so much. If a man comes home to find his wife asleep, he can cover her and tuck her into bed.
A husband can give his wife a call from work just to say hello and to let her know that he is thinking about her.
If a wife finds that her husband has fallen asleep, she can give him a little kiss on the forehead, even if she thinks that he will not be aware of it. Indeed, on some level his senses are working even though he is asleep and he may very well be aware of it.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized the value of these little things, “…even the morsel of food that you place in your wife’s mouth…” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
It may very well be that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was alluding to the expenditure of a man for his wife’s needs. Nonetheless, the Prophet (peace be upon him) chose to express it in the way he did for a reason. Most importantly, this is the way the Prophet peace be upon him) conducted himself with his family.
This type of behavior is governed by the tastes of the people involved. It may take some getting used to, but it really does not take a lot of effort.
A person who is not accustomed to such things may feel embarrassed just hearing about them and may prefer to leave matters the way they are rather than try to change his behavior and do things that he might see as ridiculous.
Still, we must be willing introduce new habits into our lives if we do not want our problems to go on forever.
Sadia Raheem can be found onFacebook
The relationship must be protected from negative influences that can harm it. One of the worst of these is the habit of comparing one’s spouse to others. Many men tend to compare their wives to those of other men. Some even compare them with the faces they see in magazines and on television. Women also compare their husbands with other women’s husbands in things like wealth, looks, and how many times he takes her out. All of this makes people feel bad and insufficient and it can ruin the marital relationship.
If we must compare ourselves to others, we should do so with those who have less going for them than ourselves. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Look towards those who are beneath you and do not look towards those who are above you. This is better so that you do not belittle Allah’s blessings.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
We must accustom ourselves to living in the real world and to finding contentment in what Allah has decreed for us. We should not look longingly at what others have been given. Whatever little that we have will be a lot if we utilize it well.
It is quite possible that many who speak about their marital bliss and go on boasting about their husbands and wives are untruthful in what they say. They just like to brag.
it is recommended for a man to help his wife in household related work and chores: That a woman must serve her husband does not condtradict the fact that a man should, if he finds the time, help his wife in household related work. As Muslims, we are required to be kind to our spouses, and a part of being kind to his wife is for a man to help her around the house. ‘Aishah (RAA), the Mother of the Believers, said,”The Messenger of Allah (SAW) would serve his family, and then when time for prayer arrived, he would leave to pray”.
In another narration, Hisham bin ‘Urwah related that his father said, “I asked ‘Aishah (RAA), ‘What would the Prophet (SAW) do (in terms of work) in his house?” She (RAA) said, “He would stitch his garment and mend his shoes, and he would do the same would do the same work that men (normally) do in their homes.”
And yet in another narration, ‘Aishah (RAA) said, “He was simply a human being among human beings: he would scrutinize his garment (checking for insects or filth), he would milk his sheep, and he would do his own work.”
The grass often does seem greener on the other side, but only because we are not looking at it up close.
For more information on these inserts, please visit the following facebook group. Always remember that consulting a member of your local masjid someone such as your Imam can lead you in a good direction to begin using good habits to make your love and relationship stronger. Please see my article on lists of Boston Islamic Society and surrounding areas