I agree with that observation made by a friend who is a fellow Presbyterian minister. But neither is as good as having fellowship with God, and if you have not tried that also, then you cannot argue with me! I think my friend meant sex within marriage is good no matter what else is going on, and I concur. I also had multiple partners before I was walking with God, and although that was always enjoyable, knowing I have peace with God is much more important and enjoyable. So why does my denomination, the Presbyterian Church in the USA, have a high court that refuses to rule on whether chastity for gay clergy is “essential” to reformed faith and practice? In other words, sex outside of marriage for both hetrosexuals and homosexuals is becoming more acceptable in this denomination (and most if not all others).
When I was going through orientation for ordination in the Presbytery of Montreal, I was single at the time, and mocked as a virgin by one of the persons involved in the process. She was a student then at the seminary in Montreal, studying to be a minister in the Presbyterian Church of Canada. Actually I was not a virgin at that time, but did not think it was appropriate to brag about it. Instead I was very sad to see that the individual was a hippie in drag, soon to hide her anti Christian attitudes behind a robe and pulpit. I had just come out of that lifestyle and was absolutely certain that God opposed my attitudes and actions that I then rejected also.
There was nothing in my natural makeup that prevented me from enjoying sex with multiple partners before marriage. It was only the Holy Spirit within me who convicted me that it was sin. God is distinct and separate from that which he has created, and is with us only through the Holy Spirit. But do not all have the Holy Spirit, and therefore some can do what the Bible says not to do and have the approval of God? No, the Bible asserts that all do not have the Holy Spirit. Jude verse 19 “It is the worldly people, devoid of the Spirit, who are causing divisions.” So when we do what the Holy Spirit through the Bible tells us clearly not to do, such as fornication/sex before marriage, on what basis do we feel it is the Holy Spirit/God who is guiding us? Could it not be our own feelings, or even other spirits? If you want a clear list of sins (and much more blunt descriptions in the Greek) see 1 Corinthians 6.9-11. I was not inclined to do all the sins mentioned there, but when I did any of them, God the Holy Spirit convicted me until I repented. And so it is with any person who is indwelt by the Holy Spirit, when we do the opposite of whatever he teaches in the Bible.
Not one person is holy by nature. Instead, Jeremiah 17.9 says.”The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” That grates on my self image as well, but so what? Even if I avoid all the sins mentioned in 1 Cor 6.9-11, as well as oppression of the poor, lying, desire for revenge, etc., I still need to repent daily of several thoughts of pride and selfishness, and so forth. It was not an aversion to sex that drew me to holiness, but God the Holy Spirit, who never left me.I remember thinking many times that I would prefer not to be Christian for I would not have sensed so much condemnation for what I was doing (and the good I was not doing). Hippies in drag who pastored or otherwise led churches seemed to me to have less inner grief because they did not care what God wanted. But for those who are drawn by the Holy Spirit to accept Jesus Christ as boss, and who after that supernatural drawing, accept him as Savior and Lord, the Holy Spirit takes up residence within us. It is only then that we have the prompting and the ability to follow God, when everything in our body tells us to do the opposite. Our culture is increasingly impure and unholy be Biblical standards. If you have been to Amsterdam, you know we are following about 20 years behind them in their wake Only the Holy Spirit within a person gives us the motivation to either stay pure, or to repent sincerely and to turn from whatever the Bible calls sin, to again follow the living God.