Have you ever spent countless days thinking, “If only…? (You fill in the blank) then I’d be happy?” If only he would…if only she would…if only my job…if only I would win that lottery, then I would….and on and on.
With the blanket of gloom that seems to be spread over the economy, it seems finding happiness is ever eluding mainstream America. But perhaps happiness is present more than we know…we may be in the habit of choosing lack instead of realizing the daily opportunities we have to allow happiness to enter our lives. And, by taking in a dose of happiness, we may find ourselves spreading that happiness to those we love.
“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” Buddha
While cold calling a the New Tacoma Cemetery to market my Funeral Officiant Services, (no pun intended) I experienced the most delightful conversation with the receptionist, Linda, a compassionate woman who warmly greets callers who wish to make arrangements for their dearly departed. She was so helpful and freely offered suggestions on who I should contact for possible business in performing funerals and memorials. I felt like I’d made a new friend and left with a smile on my face.
An unexpected warm day (for our winter) landed in Tacoma on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Ruston Way was filled with walkers enjoying the break from the normal wind and rain. I was there and was amazed at the number of people and dogs taking in a breath of fresh air. Again, I found myself smiling…could this be happiness? That same morning I enjoyed coffee at Starbucks with a new friend I met at a Saturday morning networking coffee that meets the 2nd Saturday of each month at the Mandolin Cafe. We shared insights on life and love as we learned about each other’s businesses. We both agreed that it is important to bring relationship back into business…our transactions have become so impersonal with the INTERNET that I believe we are craving that human contact that now slips into cyberspace.
My point is that life moves on no matter what the circumstances of your divorce or break up. Sometimes after divorce, people become isolated because of the dynamics in the family structure and the fallout that spreads to in-laws and friends. Perhaps it’s a good time to create new bonds with new people, and renew bonds with friends who have been forgotten. Look for opportunities to connect with people in new ways. Find a group that involves an activity you enjoy…or an activity you would like to explore. Not only will you find ways to expand your interests, you might expand your social networks and in doing so, increase the potential for happiness. Within those connections are smiles waiting to be given and received. Even though things could be better, I’ll bet they are better than we realize and we may find that happiness happens in a blink of the eye.
Cynthia Minnitti is a Certified Life Coach and Celebrant. She may be reached at [email protected]