New Year’s Resolutions from the world of boxing:
Manny Pacquiao resolves to remain the Happy Warrior who has brought so much joy in and out of the ring to his Pacquiao Worldwide Army (PWA). He resolves that despite the crabs trying to drag him down.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. resolves to stop being a tattletale without any substance or should I say substances in his tattle. Kind of ironic that his middle name is Joy since we rarely see him, with the notable exception of his wrestling romps, having any fun. (Bullets fired at a family oriented roller skating rink do not count.)
Bob Arum resolves to launch the comeback of caught cheating Antonio Margarito without making any more silly excuses such as it was only trainer Javier Capetillo, the loaded wraps designed to maim Sugar Shane Mosley was a one man caper, that Margocheato knew nothing.
Miguel Cotto, taking stock of the many poor decisions he has made in the past couple of years within his own camp, resolves not criticize Pacman from afar without any intelligence involved.
Margarito resolves to do his talking in the ring and no more cheating in the locker room.
Floyd Mayweather Sr. resolves to be never muzzled, damn litigation, because you can’t get—no pun intended—blood out of a stone.
Roger Mayweather resolves not to get smashed in the head by any flying lamps on his own property.
Johnny Bos brings character to boxing (Facebook photo posted by Wizard of Bos)
Freddie Roach resolves to take some days off, take a real vacation and continue being boxing’s top trainer for many years.
Michael Koncz resolves not to let his face be used as Alex Arixa’s speed bag in 2010. He challenges Ariza to wrestling match, best two out of three falls, Chavit Singson as referee.
Richie Rich, Boxing Banker Schaefer resolves to sprinkle e some humility and humor into his dour personality.
Oscar de la Hoya resolves to rename his Ring magazine blog, “My Personal Organ Of My Wholly Owned House Organ.”
Nonito Donaire resolves to patch things up with Brian Viloria, and vice versa, in the name of Pinoy boxing solidarity. If they fight each other, this resolution can be quickly forgotten.
Legend Lou Duva turns 88 years young this May, tribute must be paid, says Michael Marley (AP Photo)
Madam Auring, Pinay psychic, resolves that this is the year she makes the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue in all her glory.
Mayweather minder Leonard Ellerbe resolves to sit at the table of boxing brotherhood with old buddy Greg Leon the next time Laughing Lenny visits The Bronx.
Marvin Sonsona resolves not to accept any “next Pacman” labels and continue to work hard to make his star shine even brighter.
Don and Lorraine Chargin resolve to continue to brighten up boxing merely with their presence and historical perspective on the good, the bad and the ugly they’ve seen through the decades.
Bernard Hopkins resolves to continue to speak his considerable mind on any and all topics. He may be a Golden Boy suit but BHop isn’t shining even Golden shoes.
Ricky Hatton resolves to make his final fight one against a punch bag and not take a licking from Mexican ringmaster Juan Manuel Marquez.
Paulie Malignaggi resolves to continue to be boxing’s answer to Lady Gaga, an effervescent showstealer who has more paydays to pile up while making merry all the while. Now if only Yo Paulie can do something about the wild mood swings of his promoter Volcanic Lou DiBella.
Lou DiBella resolves to treat his overworked staff almost as well as he treats his yapping mutt, Chaplin.
Cedric Kushner, German Sheppard owner, resolves to teach puppy Junior to take him for walks in and around leafy Central Park, Kushner also resolves to get David Tua a title shot this year or, in the laternative, match him against old pal Shannon Briggs.
Keith Kizer and his Nevada commission cohorts launch training seminars for judges, referees and other personnel from anywhere else. Learning from the best behooves everybody. Such seminars could be given the week of big bouts in Las Vegas.
Mikkel Kessler resolves to get back on track starting with his winnable fight against Carl Froch.
Carl Froch, whose uses no pr person’s filter, resolves to continue to be the most quotable fighter in the world. David Haye can take some tips from my man from Nottingham, Frochie.
Tor Hamer fights Shawn McLean for the heavyweight title of Harlem at BB King’s in a DiBella promotion and the winner of the fight comes from Harlem.
David Haye resolves through Golden Boy to show his talent in an American ring.
Hector Camacho Jr. resolves to escape his father’s large shadow and wins a real world title in 2010.
Fernando Vargas resolves to sign up new talent and makes his mark as a promoter the way he made his mark as a fighter.
Affable light heavyweight Ron Johnson talks his way, Malignaggi motourmouth style, into a title bout against Bad Chad Dawson. It’s not like Dawson’s dance list is overcrowded.
Aaron Davis, college hoopster out of boxing mecca Kansas, resolves to return a reporter, this reporter’s multiple phone calls, in respect to a horrible scorecard rendered by a judge he handpicked for the Sergio Martinez-Paul Williams fight. Last time checked, Davis was a public official, not an officer of a privately owned corporation, though I could be wrong.
Speaking of Tall Paul, his trainer George Peterson resolves to bring in someone like Manny Steward to help out so that Williams can reach his full potential. Time for the former DC cop to check his ego at the door and he can look to Jermain Taylor as a bad example of not maximizing talent.
Kelly Pavlik resolves to continue to ignore the hometown gossips and others who have the crab mentality. Pavlik moves forward by fighting Williams and leaves the Miguel Espinos in his rear view mirror. If Pavlik is a drunk, I’d hate to see how he fights when sober. (That’s a joke, son.)
Celestino Cabellero, the Panamanian Pipe Cleaner who is thin like Twiggy, resolves to fight his way out of obscurity.
Legendary Johnny Bos on the rebound, he and his ex-champ Joey Gamache win a big judgment from New York State over the Arturo Gatti weigh-in debacle. Bos then resolves to move back to the Big Apple where we are minus one genuine boxing character. Bright lights, Broadway, that’s Bos not the Scientology HQs of Clearwater, Fl.
Certain boxing promoters wake up to the fact that newspapers are yesterday and the Internet sites are today. They then resolve to treat the Internet scribes just the same as the print scribes.
Dana White, boxing fan and Boston guy, resolves to stop yapping about the boxing versus MMA war. That war is over and both sports will continue to prosper.
Boxing Scenester Rick Reeno resolves, along with Mike Acri, to overcome their mutual obsession with Raccon Rick Glaser, who shuffles off to Buffalo when not working as a Don King hatchet man.
Japanese promoter Akihiko Honda rersolves that Jorge Linares makes a successful comeback and I hope he does because we sorely need rising stars.
Michael Marley resolves to not carry any grudges, nurse any wounds and in general to stop taking the people in boxing so seriously.
Michael Marley also resolves to work with Dino Duva to attempt to put together a proper 88th birthday tribue to his Pops, the legendary Lou Duva in May. There can be no MC other than Pasquuale Caputo, the comedic genius better known as Pat Cooper. Maybe Pat can get Howard Stern to show up.
As far as taking things too seriously, I repeat this except for you BeRnIe Vee, or however you spell it, you are my guiding light in all matters.
For the rest of you, all I can say is, “Big man don’t roll like that!”
HAPPY NEW YEAR!