First of all please understand that I am not someone who has ever gone to a psychic or a medium before. I do read the horoscope, I have had a few tarot card readings and I do, on occasion, read the rune stones myself. But going to someone to tell you things you know already does not generally interest me. It is not that I don’t believe in this phenomenon but as someone who has been trained in classic Zen Meditation for many years I have learned well not to be attached to most if not all things. Breaking attachment is the foundation of Zen. Not being swept or carried away by the duality of life is a huge lesson to be learned day in and day out, breathe in and breathe out. Not getting caught up in spiritual materialism is a very important part of breaking through this duality that surrounds.
After I finished the formal interview with Rebecca Rosen she asked if I would like to have a reading myself. I felt a bit pensive but my intuition had told me before I went in there that this would probably come up and that of course I should stay open minded and give it a try. We had never meet before this meeting so I thought it would be interesting to see just how good she could be. Also please understand that I told her nothing of my personal history or information before we meet or even while we were talking outside of a brief description of my back ground in Zen and Yoga.
A little bit about my back ground is necessary here. My Mother passed away back in 1981. My Grandfather, her Dad, passed away in 1986. I have been struggling to make it out here in Denver for about a year and a half now. Every road I have attempted to travel down has been a dead end or ended at a brick wall. All this frustration has caused me to dig my heels deeper into the training and working on the ties that bind within myself. That is why I am working quite hard at making it as a writer and writing about my journey upon the spiritual path. For writing and my journey down the spiritual path are the only two things, in life, that I have ever felt passionate about. Everything else in life feels like filler, feels empty as soon as I give it a closer look of internal inspection. For whatever reason I am not able to occupy my time or my mind for very long with the many bright lights and whistles on the surface of life and I find it a driving force to ask “what is the meaning of life” as the ultimate mantra or koan.
My Mother and her Dad were the two entities that she connected with as soon as she opened up that part of her mind. The feeling that came into Rebecca was that my Mom was happy for me for the path that I have chosen. Rebecca saw my Mom push a cross to the side. She said this means that my Mom realizes that being Catholic was the right path for her but not for me. That she understands that I have gone beyond what I was brought up on and she respects me for being a seeker of deeper knowledge that can not be contained in any one religious view. That she is happy for me that what I am doing is from my heart and that I am not following expectations and that is a good thing.
Rebecca also was able to determine that she had passed from cancer and that it was in the stomach area. She had ovarian cancer. It was also related to me that my Mom realized that she had passed on way to soon leaving me with many questions left unanswered. That my life wasn’t supposed to be this difficult and hard and it was shown to Rebecca, a boulder being pushed up hill that it has been an uphill struggle for me but soon I should reach a plateau. That hopefully in April of this year will be when new doors open but that I should keep working and trying and not be set on this date. With that I agreed whole heartedly. Ambitions and dreams alone do not make a career flourish.
Much to my amazement my Mom is not one of my spirit guides. Although she comes to me when I meditate and that I need to do that more often than I do. This is true because I can be a slacker when it comes to my practice at times. Rebecca said she is always with me but that she does not guide me. My Grandfather is my guardian, or protector, and there are two others who are my guides as well. One named Michael and another whose name she did not get. But both of these guides I have not meet in life. It came to Rebecca that I make my guides work hard that I am stubborn. It was right here that I was like wow she is onto something, as I couldn’t agree more! I am quite stubborn and can be difficult indeed.
On a different subject though is what really entranced me to Rebecca’s prowess as a spiritual medium. She said that my Mom wanted to wish someone a happy birthday whose name began with a Mar and it had been a week or two before our meeting. I did not know who this was. Afterwards I spoke with my cousin John and told him of this meeting. He confirmed with me that his Mother Marlene had her birthday just the week before. I did not even remember my aunt’s birthday. They had been very good friends growing up in Wisconsin many years before and were close up until the day my Mom passed away.
I would say that she was accurate with approximately seventy five percent of what she was saying. I think that is a very high level for someone to reach since I had never meet with her before.
But please understand that there are people in my life who don’t get nearly a quarter of what I am talking about! All joking aside I was very impressed with Rebecca and walked out of there feeling a weight had been lifted off of me. I had so many questions and stress released off of me by the fact that I was able to communicate with my Mom who passed on nearly thirty years ago leaving a void in me that has not been filled yet. It was like the curtain on thirty years of silence had partly been lifted.
We all struggle in this life, we all suffer, we are all here to learn and grow…I can not say or stress this enough. We are all spiritual beings learning how to be human. Being open minded to the fact that we do not know everything and that we are not the end all be all of life is an enlightening and humbling fact. Knowledge is what we are here to seek. Living life on the surface, as the majority do, does not work for us all. They say that we are all on the path where we need to be and that we learn in this life what we need to learn. Developing empathy and compassion for each other is crucial for changing the problems in this world. Being open within ourselves and the infinite space that is inside is an inner journey that has the potential to make the exterior journey better for us and the rest who walk upon this path. Thank you Rebecca for giving me a gift that goes beyond mere words.