Let’s pick up the interview with Greg Thiel and continue to share this life changing information for marriages.
DMCE: Greg, how do you handle a husband that is angry with the wife bringing home a higher income? Clearly this becomes an issue in some marriages, so what would you do?
Greg: Would work the male individually in a coaching session to determine what his fears are, what the worst case scenario is and if he receives his confidence from his job, discover alternative ways for him to gain his confidence back.
After he has worked with the husband, then bring the wife into joint coaching and they discuss the reality of the situation. From discussing the reality they build a foundation for solving problems and creating a vision for what they would like to see happen. Greg shared that also in the midst of this discussion they talk about what is considered equitable for shared parenting.
Greg said that most guys would raise to the occassion when it comes to parenting but they do not want to be criticized because it is not done the way the wife would like it. Husbands want to be trusted, accepted and appreciated.
He shared the importance of couples working as a team.
Greg and I moved on from that point and I asked him the following.
DMCE: Greg, what is the number one reason you have found that people have a hard time letting go of their anger in marriage?
Greg: They want to be right and do it their way. Perception is huge. If you assume it was true six months ago, it might not be true to this day. He has found that there are times when the partner gets pigeonholed because of the assumption. Greg shared there is a fine line between trusting the past and creating a history together. Husbands and wives must allow for flexibility or they set themselves up for disappointment and sometimes failure.
BIG CAUTION HERE: You cannot control another person in a relationship! People do this all the time and then get highly upset when the other person is not willing to be controlled.
I had one more question for Greg that I thought was pertinent to our conversation and wanted to pose it to him.
DMCE: How does a husband that is an extrovert, deal with a wife who is an introvert and she is angry about their marriage?
Greg: he said watch the signals that are presenting:
(1) Recent behavior – if she was introverted and quiet before, has she now become very vocal;
(2) Withdrawing – is she withdrawing from the situation which is causing the quality of the relationship to deteriorate.
(3) Passive anger – Not being brave enough to speak their mind which causes stress. Have to also be careful they do not become a volcano waiting to erupt.
This person has to know that it is safe to voice their concerns without being judged or criticized.
Greg has developed My Anger Action Plan. To find out more about My Anger Action Plan, contact him through Connection Coaching, US . You will be glad that you did and you can gain new insight into your marriage, yourself as well as your spouse. Find out when his next seminar is and make plans to attend.