When a couple first begins a sexual relationship, the excitement and anticipation often result in heated and passionate romps between the sheets. Conversely, some couples who have been together many years might regard sex simply as something that’s necessary in the relationship, but may have forgotten how to truly embrace the intimacy of the experience. In both cases, the common factor is the all-too-often neglected aspect of touch. That is, the soft, slow, stimulating kind of touch that needs to be savored.
Many people associate sex simply with the sexual organs: vagina, penis. Often nipples are given [some of] the attention they deserve as well. However, many people don’t take the time to explore and discover the abundant other erogenous zones of the human body. And everyone’s erogenous zones may vary—although the mind is usually the most prominent in most people. In order to discover these individual and unique places of arousal, touch is critical.
Touch is extremely important to the development of healthy human development. Evidence shows that babies in orphanages who were not touched usually did not live past the age of two. On the other hand, babies who are touched and massaged often gain weight faster and are ready to go home [from the hospital] sooner. Touch is our first means of communication with our parents, especially our mothers, whom we stay [physically] close to during breastfeeding. Touch has been shown to give babies a greater sense of security, and to relieve anxiety (Johnsonsbaby.com).
As adults, within sexual relationships, touch is extremely important. Try incorporating [detailed] touch during foreplay. Whether with your hands, lips, even hair—if it’s long, running it across your partner’s body—you can caress and stimulate your partner, not only to create sexual arousal, but also relaxation.
Massage is a great way to relax and arouse your partner. Combining relaxation with sexual arousal is a great way to release tension and allow the body to “loosen up.” At Massage by Ki, Ki Bournes offers massage and Touch Centred Sex Education and Therapy. You might be interested in his hands-on Tantric Sensual Massage workshops for couples. One on how to give a tantric massage to a woman, on March 13 and 14, 2010, and the other on massage for a man, April 17 and 18.
The concept of touch is obviously quite important, especially when it comes to relationships. In public, touch between two people establishes connection and communication. For a couple, holding hands, or even a subtle action like keeping your hand on your partner’s leg, or the small of their back, provides you both with a constant physical connection—a personal, intimate, mutual communication.