Rihanna is doing what many women who have been abused do, continue the pattern of dating men who are abusers. Last year, Rihanna and her then boyfriend Chris Brown made headlines with reports that he physically abused and landed her in the hospital. Less than a year later she is reportedly dating a man with a history of violence against women. That’s according to an ex-girlfriend of Matt Kemp. In June 2008, actress Felisha Terrell of “Days of Our Lives” told star magazine that she filed a restraining order against the 6’4″, 220-lb. ballplayer whom she had been living with, accusing him of threatening, intimidating and stalking her. She took out a restraining order against the Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder in 2008. “He is violent and I am afraid,” she wrote in the papers. If this is true this is not a good sign for Rihanna.
I had the opportunity to talk to a counselor at a organization I once volunteered, “The Rainbow House” for the battered and abused in Chicago, IL. During our discussion on this topic she stated, “It has been found that the victim’s repeated exposure to violence causes them to suffer profoundly. From what I gathered from the incident with Rihanna, she came from an abusive home in which her father abused her mother. I would assume that her thinking, interpersonal relationships, sense of self worth, and her daily activities and functioning can all be affected by the violence.”
For me personally, in counseling individuals from all walks of life, I have found that many who have been abused and/or suffer from low self esteem ultimately attract who “they are”. Meaning if they don’t embrace and find their own identity, they always seem to attract an abuser. They attract these individuals to obtain a sense of self worth and/or to feel validated. In many cases makes it worse for them. If they don’t emotionally heal from their traumatic experiences of being abused they tend to repeat a cycle…of finding an abuser and being abused.
Rihanna’s friends added, “You’d think after what she went through with Chris, she would be extra careful about learning the background of any man she gets close to,” one of them tells Star. “It’s almost as if she has a dark side of her own an attraction to bad boys. Rihanna boyfriend denied the abuse charges. His agent Dave Stewart told E! News, “Matt dated Felisha about two years ago and decided to end their relationship. She chose to file a complaint and shortly thereafter, on her own accord, decided to drop it based on the fact that the statements made within were false.
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