For those of you that don’t know, Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson has a tradition of giving each Laker a book before long road trips.
Mike Bresnahan of the L.A. Times gave us a list of the books the Phil gave out before the most recent roadie. I know I’m in no place to question the Zen Master, but those don’t seem to quite hit the mark. Here’s a list of books that Phil should have distributed:
Pau Gasol – Acting A to Z: The Young Person’s Guide to a Stage or Screen Career by Katherine Mayfield. Pau left us all underwhelmed by his performance last year in an episode of CSI: Miami. Maybe this book will help him get to the Clooney level.
Ron Artest – Man Falling Backwards Down Stairs by Daniel Joshua Nagelberg. This one’s pretty self-explanatory, but Ron Ron could take some solace in the fact that he’s not the only one who’s had an embarrassing household accident.
Kobe Bryant – Dealing with Chronic Pain by Jack Barrott and Nick Sanquest. Kobe’s body is getting more worn down by the day, so this book might give him some strategies as to handle it. Although I’m guessing it says to stop playing basketball if you have a broken finger, so I’m not sure how seriously Kobe will take it.
Shannon Brown – Cinderfella and the Slam Dunk Contest by Elizabeth Burton and Lynn Offerdahl. Yes, I know that the guy on the cover looks glaringly similar to a certain #23 we’ve all come to know and love, but Shannon will quickly see how the story applies to him. Campaign to start calling Shannon Brown “Cinderfella” starts now. Who’s with me?
Sasha Vujacic – No Haircut! (Fear of Haircut) by James Grady, Lori Grady, and Janet Grady. Despite Phil’s best intentions, Sasha’s new haircut has not provided him with luck this season as his minutes and numbers are down. This book will let him know that he’s not the only one scarred by the shears.
Lamar Odom – Candy: A Novel of Love and Addiction by Luke Davies. Lamar’s penchant for sweets may have let up a bit since his marriage, but you know he still has a special place in his heart for junk food. This book might help him cope.
Andrew Bynum – Share and Take Turns (Learning to Get Along, Book 1) by Cheri J. Meiners. It’s no secret that Bynumite’s production drops when he’s in the same lineup as Pau. Maybe this book will finally teach Big Drew how to play well with others.
Well, those are just a few suggestions for Phil. Obviously what he’s doing this time around isn’t working, so maybe he’ll give these a shot on the next extended road trip. Let’s hope so.
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