Departed UT head football coach Lane Kiffin never made it to number one in the college football rankings, but if a local attorney has his way Kiffins name could become synonymous with number 2.
Drew McElroy has filed paperwork with the Knoxville City Council’s Public Properties and Facilities Naming Committee to rename the Kuwahee wastewater treatment plant on Neyland Drive the “Lane Kiffin Sewage Center.”
It dawned on meLane Kiffin told us that he hoped the fans would understand. I thought ‘Well, naming the wastewater plant for him would let him know, I think very clearly, we do understand,'” McElroy told a local television station (WBIR). “We want to memorialize his stay here, and I think this would be doing it appropriately.”
I must say that it is a tempting notion. Every time Knoxvillians produce waste we can pay homage to the coach who jilted us for sunny Southern Cal. But will this be as satisfying in 5 years, or even 10 years? Hopefully Tennessee football fans, and all of college football for that matter, will have completely forgotten about Lane Kiffin and his conniving ways by that point.
You must credit McElroy for his ambition, misguided though it may be. It is always good for this UT Athletic Dept to have an attorney on its side, so thank you for your obvious concern, Mr. McElroy.
So the options that we are left with are simple:
Option A: Rename the sewage center as proposed by McElroy. Then, collectively adopt a high fiber diet and hurl daily insults via the Knoxville sewage system at the man who will soon be but a blip in Tennessee football history.
Option B: Get over it and move on.
Seriously, do Tennesseans not receive enough ridicule as it is? Should we aspire to be the kind of people who have our exes names tattooed on our forearm? Let it go and put all of our collective energy into supporting the new staff, so that this program can restore itself to national prominence.
That said, I cannot resist sharing this one final parting shot at our dearly departed snake-in-the-grass. Did you hear what Charles Barkley said about Kiffin? Barkely was asked about Kiffins hire at USC during an NBA halftime show. His priceless response was this:
Lane Kiffin has got to have pictures of somebody HAVING SEX WITH A MONKEY. Three straight jobs, and he didnt deserve ANY of them. He has got to have pictures of somebody having sex with a monkey.
Now, lets move on