Often times when someone is describing what they are looking for in a relationship, the description is always what they want from the other person. Very rarely do you hear someone explain what they want to bring to the relationship. When we define ourselves by who we are with, or by those attributes that we think we want in someone else, something very important gets lost in the process. You have to know who you are and what you can bring to the table of love before you can lay your happiness at someone else’s feet to manage. That is a great amount of pressure to place on a potential lover and will more than likely lead to disappointment.
Before you start looking for the love of your life, define who you are first. Seriously contemplate your own inner workings and what you love about you. Now, don’t get too crazy with that and convince yourself that you are so great that no one could ever measure up. This isn’t about a “hooray me” moment. Well, you can rah rah yourself just a little if you want. What I mean is take a moment to meditate on what makes you who you are. Take more than a moment if you need to! What are those things that you are most interested in, what are the things about yourself that make you happy? When you have a good understanding of those answers and can really focus on just who you believe you are then you can walk into a relationship without having to seek someone else to do those things for you. To know yourself is to love yourself. Isn’t that how the old saying goes?
On the flip side of that, also take some time to meditate on the things about yourself that might need a little more refining. I don’t mean etiquette classes here either. If you are stubborn, set in your ways, clingy, have a tendency toward cyber stalking, if you are looking for someone to pay your bills, ex-cetera, ex-cetera, then you are looking in the wrong direction. You get the idea here, right? Take a good hard look at the tendencies that have caused problems in past relationships or that just bug you about yourself. Everyone has them, and deep down we all know what they are. It’s best to confront them and try to work on them before rather than after you get into a new relationship.
As I talked about in the article Spending Time Apart you have to cultivate your own interests and develop your sense of self. There is no better time to establish your part of a relationship than before the romance ever begins. If you want some professional help on learning how to meditate and really have some quiet time to reflect, check out The Pierce Yoga Program in the Virginia Highlands area in Atlanta. They offer meditation classes weekly. You never know who you might meet while you are learning to love yourself!
Want to read more of Angel’s articles on love, sex and relationships? Become a subscriber to her page by clicking on the subscribe button at the top of the article. You can also read Angel’s personal blog at http://redpill-productions.com/?cat=20