Up until a few months ago, to say you wanted to be like Tiger Woods, meant so many positive things. Great Golfer, loving father and devoted Husband. Since Thanksgiving, all of that has been tainted due to his activities which have proven that Woods stepped outside the bounds of marriage and had an affair.
While his golf career is put on hold, which he will one day return and rule again, his marriage has a long road to travel to be on a level that is healthy. This is something that happens to couples everyday. The big question when it happens to Tiger Woods or anyone is, “How Did We get here?”
Marriages fall into lazy patterns over time. Contentment, careers or even kids can keep us so busy that we don’t remember the fact that our spouse is suppose to come first in our lives. If you haven’t kept up with Woods career, he spent the better part of a year at home recovering from knee surgery which allowed for him to be with his family and invest into his marriage. Regardless of sexual addition or depression diagnosis, Woods was creating good habits with his wife. Prior to his surgery, his wife Elin was even going on the road with him to continue in that investment during the first 5 years of their marriage.
Once Woods was cleared by doctors to play again, it was very easy for a him or any man whose on the road now with out his family traveling with him, to be tempted by other things. Sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. can intoxicate a mans ego to the point that he is not thinking clearly and ends up with a trail behind him of broken trust and relationships along the way.
I’m not saying all this to give an excuse for what Woods did to cause his marriage to fall into a ‘season slump’; what he did WAS wrong. However, these are issues both husbands and wives face at some point in their marriage and there are a few things you can do to prevent it. Woods stayed and sometimes that’s the hardest step.
First let me say this, if you are in the thick of it and don’t know where to start, there is hope and your marriage can be whole again. So let me start by pointing out the things you can do to start turning things around.
1. Confess anything you need to your spouse. Coming clean about everything is the first step to both of you recovering and growing trust in your relationship.
2. You and your spouse have to both be willing to work things out. If only half the ‘team’ is ready to stay, you can’t make it work as the other half walks out the door.
3. Find someone who has been through what you are facing and stayed together to find out what steps they took to heal. The proper accountability and wise counsel can make the difference between a slow recovery and a quick one.
Now back to helping you affair proof your marriage:
1. Constant communication is key. Your marriage is like a football team and the quarterback, constant communication about what plays you need to call to win the game is the ONLY way you will win. The same goes for marriage.
2. Stay in the habits that made you fall in love. Love is not the feeling you had on your wedding day, it is a choice you make to put your needs aside and meet the needs of your spouse. It takes from just saying “I love you” to showing it in your actions.
3. Lastly, prepare for the changes that will/could occur in your marriage. By having a plan in place for what’s coming in your live (IE, kids, job change, loss of a parent) and how you will handle these things as a ‘team’ so that you can win when those challenges occur.
You are in this marriage together and learning how to properly love each other one day at a time, will lead to a lifetime of love.