Have you ever felt ashamed about something you’ve done or maybe something you’re continuing to do? Have you been hiding something from your spouse for fear that they might not understand or that they might be disappointed? The bad news is that keeping secrets from your spouse can weigh on your relationship in ways that you may not even realize.
Secretes take a lot of work and the longer you allow this sort of behavior to continue, the greater the toll it could have on your marriage. Secrets can cause you to become defensive or even over sensitive to any sort of criticism. You might come accross as irritable and your spouse might feel as though you’ve lost interest in them. You might even lie to your spouse and allow feelings of paranoia to further distance yourself from the one you’re supposed to love. This sort of behavior can seem harmless at first, but over time it can cause a complete breakdown in the communication channels between you and your spouse.
Living blamelessly means you have cast away your shame and guilt by asking for forgiveness for the things you have done wrong. From this day forward, you avoid any activities you would be ashamed of or that you might regret being discovered. As one who lives blamelessly, you are also an example to others who want to follow the right path in life. The following passage from Titus “Conduct Consistent with Sound Teaching” might inspire you as you become obedient to what the Lord has commanded.
Titus 2:1 But as for you, communicate the behavior that goes with1 sound teaching. 2:2 Older men are to be temperate, dignified, self-controlled,2 sound in faith, in love, and in endurance.3 2:3 Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. 2:4 In this way4 they will train5 the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, 2:5 to be self-controlled,6 pure, fulfilling their duties at home,7 kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message8 of God may not be discredited.9 2:6 Encourage younger men likewise to be self-controlled,10 2:7 showing yourself to be an example of good works in every way. In your teaching show integrity, dignity, 2:8 and a sound message that cannot be criticized, so that any opponent will be at a loss,11 because he has nothing evil to say about us. 2:9 Slaves12 are to be subject to their own masters in everything,13 to do what is wanted and not talk back, 2:10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith,14 in order to bring credit to15 the teaching of God our Savior in everything.2:11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all people.16 2:12 It trains us17 to reject godless ways18 and worldly desires and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 2:13 as we wait for the happy fulfillment of our hope in the glorious appearing19 of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.20 2:14 He21 gave himself for us to set us free from every kind of lawlessness and to purify for himself a people who are truly his,22 who are eager to do good.23 2:15 So communicate these things with the sort of exhortation or rebuke24 that carries full authority.25 Don’t let anyone look down26 on you.
The reward for living blamelessly is the weight that comes off your shoulders. You might find a new openness and desire to grow together as a couple. When you forgive, confess and ask for forgiveness it is indescribable how it can change your life. Wouldn’t you love to start each day knowing that you have nothing to hide?
If you have any doubt about confessing to and asking for forgiveness from your spouse please seek guidance from a spiritual advisor (church leader) and/or a marital counselor. Reading this article does not mean you should immediately confess all of your transgressions to your spouse. You might not be happy with the results. The main idea is for you to avoid behaviors that can be damaging to your marriage, to seek forgiveness and to forgive others.
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