Single Christians who desire marriage are often admonished to pray earnestly for Mr. or Mrs. “Right.” However, the high divorce rate among born again Christians appears to indicate that many of these singles are marrying Mr. or Mrs. “Right Now.” Nevertheless, isn’t God to blame? The answer is a resounding no! Now comes the big question: isn’t God responsible for providing our mates? The answer to this: yes and no. It’s a wonderful dichotomy that can best be explained by using the following illustration, which is based on a true story:
Jane, (fictitious name) a single Christian woman in her mid 30’s, had been praying for the right mate since she started dating at age 16. Jane was a stickler. She made it very clear to God the type of Christian man she wanted to marry. Dark haired, muscular built, six feet tall, never married, no kids and he must have a college degree. While in her 20’s, Jane dated several men who fit her criteria; however, there was no chemistry. Then there were those guys that drove her absolutely wild with chemistry, but most of those relationships ended in heartbreak and disaster. Around age 31, Jane resorted to the idea that maybe marriage was not a part of God’s plan for her. Thoughts of being alone for the rest of her life taunted her day and night and she was losing her fight against depression. One day a good friend, hoping to cheer Jane up, invited her to church on Sunday. A very reluctant Jane agreed, and it’s a good thing she did. The Pastor seemed to be speaking directly to her. His message was from Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Although Jane had heard this passage preached many times before, this particular day it was illuminated in her spirit and she left church with a new outlook on life. Jane surrendered her will to God’s and for the next several years, she experienced great peace in her singleness.
What changed for Jane? Let’s examine Psalm 37:4 to get the answer. “Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” In the original Hebrew scriptures, that word “delight” is “anag.” It means to be soft and pliable. In other words, if you allow yourself to be shaped and molded by God, He will place His desires in you and bring them to pass in His perfect time. Many single Christians have been deceived into thinking that if they give their desires for a mate over to God, He’s going to give them that sweet someone that really repulses them. How wrong they are! When you genuinely submit your will to God’s, the Holy Spirit will supernaturally turn your heart, creating in you a deep desire for what God wants to give you. What an awesome blessing!
Philippians 4:6,7 says,”Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Note: the passage encourages us to make our requests to God, but it also says be anxious for nothing. This means don’t worry. Trust that God’s blessings far outweigh anything you could ever come up with yourself. Jesus gave us the greatest example of this. Right before His crucifixion Jesus prayed, “Father if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done.” The results of His submission, salvation for all who call upon His Name.
By the way, Jane is now deeply in love and engaged to a red-headed good Christian man who is about 5″10. He doesn’t have a college degree, but does make a decent living. He’s a widower with two kids that she absolutely adores. So who picked Jane’s mate, God or Jane? The answer is both. God led and Jane followed.