Now that you have captured your potential love partners interest by doing the right things to get their attention and you have a first date set up, what do you do?
Now the game begins. Everything you say or do will gain or lose you points in your potential love partners eyes.
Here are some questions sent to me by readers of this column. No names will be mentioned as you know who you are.
Question #1 How soon should I make my move and ask him/her out?
Answer: Not until your potential love partner feels he or she has earned your interest. Ex: Gentleman, let your attractive woman tell you about her business savvy before you suggest lunch to collaborate. Ladies, I do not recommend asking a man out directly but read my article from September 17, 2009 entitled “What is a surrendered single?” before you do anything.
Question #2 Should I play hard to get or not?
Answer: You sit around waiting for the phone to ring and when it does you nearly jump out of your skin as you realize it’s HIM. You collect yourself and pretend to be calm and say “hello”, he says hello in return and finally gets the nerve up to ask you out for Saturday night. Women, do NOT gush and say, oh yes, I’ve been dying to go out with you. No men like the chase! But not too much. They do not want to be teased or led on too much. The correct answer would be a calm and pleasant, Yes, I would love to go out with you on Saturday night. Now keep in mind, if it’s Friday, your answer should be a NO, why? because you do not want him to think your sitting around waiting for him (even if you are). If he does not have the respect to ask you out in advance (like by Wednesday or at the very latest Thursday) then he is not respecting you or the fact you may have a life. (see more details on this subject in the same article from 9/17/2009 “What is a surrendered single?”. Playing hard to get does not mean teasing the poor guy to death, it means demanding respect and making yourself worth his hunt.
Question #3 Where should I take my date for our first date?
Answer: If your goal is to make your potential love partner fall in love with you, dinner is NOT the best choice. There is compelling evidence showing your PLP will be more attracted to you if you place him or her in an emotionally stirring or vulnerable situation. EX: Go to an emotional movie, go bungee jumping, rollerskating or ice skating. Something that is going to be a little fearful yet safe. There is a strong link between emotional arousal and sexual attraction. Anxiety producing situations create a more erotic turn-on and releases phenylethylamine (PEA) a chemical within the brain.
Research statistics from “How to make anyone fall in love with you”, by Leil Lowndes. You can see her other books at: http://www.lowndes.com
I hope this has helped a bit. Don’t forget to send me your questions and to subscribe to this column to see your questions answered.
Till next time,